Womp Womp

03/18/2011

Me: I wish Maria didn’t think i was a worthless turd.
Me: that’d be pretty cool.
Lydia: obvi she doesnt
Lydia: cuz what would that make her?
Me: ….informed?

Bryan’s Potato

03/09/2011

This is for dumbdick Bryan.  Kid can’t get ANYTHING right.

YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!!

YOU HAVE A STUPID IQ

03/07/2011

a really worhtwhile convo with some spambot dickhead…..

oh yeah, and you should probably NOT click the link mentioned in there….. unless you’re stupid…. then go ahead.

1:47:35 AM Djpg0Ldz094: hey you
1:57:18 AM ME: HEY YOU
1:57:28 AM Djpg0Ldz094: wow i just scored 103 on this IQ test
2:06:15 AM ME: THATS AWESOME, YOU’RE KIND OF RETARDED, HUH?
2:06:25 AM Djpg0Ldz094: do u think that means im smart? its supposed to be pretty accurate haha
2:07:24 AM ME: NO, IT PROBABLY MEANS YOU ARE A GOD DAMN IDIOT
2:07:35 AM Djpg0Ldz094: can u take it pls and tell me what u get? http://twurl.nl/nck2sd
2:07:58 AM ME: OH, YEAH, I’LL TOTALLY GO AHEAD AND DO THAT FOR YOU, BUD!
2:08:07 AM Djpg0Ldz094: pls i wanna compare our scores lol itll be fun are you afraid i might be smarter than you? lol jk
2:08:28 AM ME: ….I meant to say NOT…. NOT do that for you…..bud.
2:08:39 AM Djpg0Ldz094: Brb im thirsty
2:08:44 AM ME: like, you know, I’ll totally go ahead and NOT do that for you, bud?
2:08:54 AM ME: oh, jeez, thirst…. TELL ME ABOUT IT.
2:09:00 AM ME: -_-
2:09:08 AM Djpg0Ldz094: k back so are you done taking it yet lol
2:09:26 AM ME: yeah, I got a 6,078
2:09:37 AM Djpg0Ldz094: Ok.
2:09:44 AM ME: that means I’m WAY smarter than you
2:09:57 AM Djpg0Ldz094: whats your score?
2:10:17 AM ME: 837,943

…idiot

IM MAD SMART, AND SHIT

IM MAD SMART, AND SHIT

Snowbuddies, Shithead!

03/07/2011

a really refreshing conversation, via text, between one of my best friends and I (and, no, he is NOT homophobic, just an idiot….. like me.)

ME: oh, hey man

FRIEND: Lolool I hate u what r uj doing I’m in bed playing pokemon like a faggot let’s have a sleep over with snow buddies soon shithead

 

 

*sigh*  I need new friends.

 

IM PLAYING POKEMON

F**K OFF, Valentine’s Day

02/14/2011

(10:21:05 AM) Me: HAPPY SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE FACE DAY!!!!
(10:21:36 AM) Me: what time do you plan on performing your overly dramatic, some might even say “romantic”, suicide?
(10:21:54 AM) Me: I’m shooting for like 9ish off the Brooklyn Bridge
(10:22:23 AM) Female Friend: oh…..i think (Fill in this spot with some dude’s name, as to protect identities) and i are doing something….
(10:22:29 AM) Female Friend: haha SO I’LL JOIN YOU
(10:22:30 AM) Me: LOL
(10:22:51 AM) Female Friend: wsburg bridge tho. we’re going out in style.
(10:23:16 AM) Me: but…. I made reservations for the Brooklyn Bridge MONTHS in advance!
(10:23:38 AM) Female Friend: lolll with whom?
(10:23:50 AM) Me: opensuicidetable.com?

Sniff it.

01/31/2011

(12:06:50 PM) Lydia: i have no where to send these damn shoes
(12:07:21 PM) Peter: send them to your face
(12:07:42 PM) Lydia: ok asshole!
(12:09:41 PM) Peter: I KID
(12:09:46 PM) Peter: send them to my work, if you want
(12:09:58 PM) Peter: so I can burn them
(12:10:01 PM) Peter: ……kidding
(12:10:01 PM) Lydia: 😦
(12:10:05 PM) Lydia: they’re boots
(12:10:13 PM) Peter: all the better for burning?
(12:10:18 PM) Lydia: rubber
(12:10:18 PM) Lydia: do it
(12:10:20 PM) Lydia: sniff it
(12:11:34 PM) Peter: oh….. I’ll sniff it. don’t you worry about that.
(12:11:40 PM) Peter: ….. awkward.
(12:12:11 PM) Lydia: you’re telling me
(12:12:57 PM) Peter: I AM telling you
(12:13:18 PM) Peter: but, hey, listen….. if sniffing rubber boots is wrong…. sister, I don’t wanna be right.

Worst Doctor Ever

11/11/2010

Peter: dude, I’m going through some shit
getting off my meds
withdrawal
“brain zaps” sound fun to you?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SSRI_discontinuation_syndrome

julian: Three words. 5 hour energy

Peter: you should never….EVER…. be a doctor

Hating Life With Roomies

11/01/2010

(11:32:26 AM) Peter: why r u whining?
(11:33:21 AM) Lydia: cuz i hate my life
(11:33:24 AM) Lydia: what more…did we need
(11:34:42 AM) Peter: oh
(11:34:43 AM) Peter: yes
(11:34:47 AM) Peter: i hate mine too
(11:34:48 AM) Peter: obvi
(11:35:46 AM) Peter: hence my ridiculous bahavior and complete lack of self control
(11:36:07 AM) Peter: along with my insufferable whining and self-loathing.
(11:36:18 AM) Lydia: muh huh
(11:36:22 AM) Peter: you are so lucky you get to live with me
(11:37:45 AM) Peter: *crickets*
(11:37:48 AM) Lydia: i know. i’m the
(11:37:48 AM) Lydia: oh
(11:37:59 AM) Peter: you’re the oh?
(11:38:03 AM) Peter: ….oh
(11:43:44 AM) Peter: hey…..
(11:43:48 AM) Peter: asshole…..
(11:44:05 AM) Lydia: hi
(11:44:49 AM) Peter: hi
(11:44:56 AM) Peter: A) you’re the “oh”?
(11:45:03 AM) Lydia: no i was gonna say
(11:45:08 AM) Lydia: i am the luckiest girl in the world
(11:45:13 AM) Peter: B) you didn’t even comment on my stupid fucking blog.
(11:46:27 AM) Lydia: its cute
(11:47:30 AM) Peter: -_-
(11:47:37 AM) Peter: ….you are…..
(11:47:39 AM) Peter: ….the worst
(11:50:45 AM) Peter: yes….. your silence confirms this…..

Suicide is the New Black

11/01/2010

11:30 AM Peter

oh hey man.   you have that banner for my blog, yet?

11:33 AM Bryan

lmao sure

sure man

hey i just finished it last night

yeah

yeah /wrists

11:36 AM Peter

oh, SICK

11:36 AM Bryan

i am

11:36 AM Peter

I guess we should just….. kill ourselves, then?

11:36 AM Bryan

ragingly tired

11:37 AM Peter

oh, good, so suicide it is?

11:37 AM Bryan

like i couldnt get out of bed lol

yes

11:37 AM Peter

Suicide…

it’s the new black

The Road

03/23/2010

I just finished The Road by Cormac McCarthy and wanted to share two of my favorite quotes/passages from the book before I put it back on the book shelf.

“When your dreams are of some world that never was or of some world that never will be and you are happy again then you will have given up.  Do you understand?  And you cant give up.” -The Man to the Boy

“That hurt, didn’t it? the boy said.

Yes It did.

Are you real brave?

Just medium.

What’s the bravest thing you ever did?

He spat into the road a bloody phlegm.  Getting up this morning, he said.

Really?

No.  Don’t listen to me.  Come on, let’s go.” – Conversation between the Man and the Boy